Netflix debuted a three-hour comedy roast of NFL Quarterback legend Tom Brady on Sunday, featuring a lot of tense and awkward moments including jokes about his marriage to ex-wife Gisele Bündchen and commentary about Kim Kardashian’s “end zone.” Oh, boy.
Highlights (if you can call them that) of “The Greatest Roast of All Time: Tom Brady” are circulating on social media and so far, none of them are good. But, perhaps the biggest fumble came from the seven-time Super Bowl champion himself when he aimed at the back-to-back reigning champs, the Kansas City Chiefs… and Swifties?
Brady said:
Kansas City, you say your stadium is the loudest? It helps when all your fans are 14-year-old girls.
And in honor of Tay-Tay, let’s take a look at the Chiefs’ eras. Terrible for fifty years, good for five. Shake it off.
Tom Brady takes a shot at the #Chiefs and Taylor Swift: “Kansas City, you say your stadium is the loudest? It helps when your fans are 14 year old girls." pic.twitter.com/Ma6RbIdky3
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) May 6, 2024
Well no, Tom. Kansas City didn’t say that Arrowhead Stadium is the loudest, Guinness World Records did. That record was set on September 29, 2014, with a noise level of 142.2 decibels. This sound level is louder than a jet plane flying 100 feet overhead.
I would expect Brady to know this information since he was there when it happened. It was a Monday Night Football game, where KC handed the Patriots a 14-41 loss, among one of New England Coach Bill Belichick’s most devastating blowouts. To add insult to injury, in the fourth quarter, Brady was benched.
This was a key matchup against the teams, as it came with Andy Reid’s arrival in Kansas City as head coach. Immediately following the game, Belichick shot off the infamous phrase, “We’re on to Cincinnati,” and sports commentators proclaimed the New England dynasty was dead.
The game served as a wake-up call, and the Pats went on to win the Super Bowl that year. The following year, the Chiefs and the Patriots faced off in the Divisional Round of the playoffs, with New England coming out on top by seven points, signifying the beginning of the end for veteran quarterback Alex Smith in Kansas City. This would lead to Brady vs. Patrick Mahomes.
Do these seem like facts that just slip your mind, if you are Brady? Or pivotal moments in his storied career?
It is also objectively untrue that the Chiefs were “terrible for 50 years.” Kansas City was terrible in the playoffs for 50 years, but they had many winning seasons and had a nine-win streak season-opener in 2013… thanks to a stellar defense that didn’t suck. Pretending there weren’t good years for half a century isn’t true. The 50 seasons between Super Bowl wins didn’t all start the same, they just ended the same.
Also, the MNF game was nearly nine years to the day before the pop artist Taylor Swift’s first-ever Chiefs football game attendance. The record has nothing to do with what Chiefs fans “say,” or the assistance of Swifties, almost a decade before they joined the football franchise’s fanbase.
Maybe some people find false information to be hilarious comedic material, but I like the “it’s funny because it’s true” type of jokes. Plus I’ve seen this guy fake enough stuff, including his own retirement.
For everyone remaining in the sport, the Chiefs will once again pose a problem this year after refreshing their wide receiver room by signing Marquise “Hollywood” Brown from the Cardinals and drafting Xavier Worthy out of the University of Texas, who had the fastest 40-yard dash in NFL combine history.
In the meantime, I suppose Chiefs owner Clark Hunt will keep polishing his Lombardis while nay-sayers come up with a fresh batch of Taylor Swift jokes.
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